Taking the Time to Evaluate Life
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Filed under Family, Life, Updates, WorkI’ve tried to think of a time in my life when I have taken a minute to just stop, think, and evaluate how my life is at that moment in time, and I honestly can’t find anything. I’ve thought about it plenty of times, but I’ve never actually studied it. I believe it is pretty crucial in everyone’s lives to just take a few seconds to realize exactly how their life has been in the past, how it is now, and what they would like to do to make it that much better in the future. I’m sure there are a lot of people who follow that routine religiously, day by day, and there are others who are like me, who have never experienced it. Sometimes I kind of wish I wasn’t the latter. I usually try to live my life in the present, but for some reason I am always sucked back into the past. I severely let the past take hold of me and completely rip me apart. I let it prevent me from expanding certain parts of my life, and it greatly holds me back. I want to try and change how my life is. I want to be able to look at my past and actually realize that there’s no possible what that I can change it, and go on living my life without it affecting me. Well, for some reason I’m having an extremely difficult time doing so.
To make things worse, Andy is moving away. He is moving to Idaho to live with his sister because he can’t stand living with my family. They are extremely rude and uncaring toward him, and I can’t even fathom where they have any reasoning to do so. He is wonderful and he doesn’t deserve to be treated that way. That’s the only reason why I agreed to letting him go..I know living with me while I’m living with my mother is an unhealthy environment for him to be in. We have talked about moving out numerous times, but have never had the motivation to do so. Well, it has jumped right out at me and slapped me in the face. After he moved away I’m most likely going to try and get a job at Starbucks again, and of course he’s going to try and get a stable job up in Idaho. Once we can afford to move out, he will move back to Texas to live with me. Having him by me every day of my life and then him just up and leaving is going to be a major change for me. I’m going to miss him so much, but I think in a way it will help our relationship grow stronger. We will stay in contact every day either through the phone or internet, I guess whichever is more convenient for the both of us. I guess I’ll just have to wait and see how things go for the next couple of months. At least with him being gone, I’ll have more time to reflect and work on my own life.
1 Comment
I’m sorry about Andy moving away, hopefully everything will work out for the better for you guys, and soon. With the past, the only thing you can do about it now, is learn from it. That way, even bad things have some benefit to your life as it is now. I think taking the time to reflect every once in a while is a good thing. Perhaps you could try keeping a notebook, something that no one else could possibly see, and write down everything that comes to mind. Ignore spelling, grammar, handwriting, everything, just get your thoughts out. It can be cathartic.
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