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My Life is a Horrible Mess

Amber — Sat, 14 Mar 2009 18:15:43 +0000

This weekend was supposed to be the start of something nice: Spring Break. That’s what I thought..but it hasn’t happened that way. Thursday night my mother came home extremely drunk at 1 in the morning, screaming and cursing at me while kicking down my door and the walls. Both Andy and I were so scared of her that we decided to just leave. We called my dad and asked if we could stay since we had to be up at 6AM for a Government exam and fortunately he said yes. We stayed the night and went to class the next morning. After my exam my Grandpa called me and chewed me out about leaving last night and told me how I was in the wrong for it. Excuse me? I was scared and I ran. How could I be in the wrong for that? I’m not a little girl anymore and I can leave the house when I feel like it, especially when I feel how I felt that night. Andy and I have stayed away from my mother’s house since then. My grandparents are furious with me and I honestly don’t know why. I had to come home today because they’re planning a little “talk” about mine and Andy’s relationship..like it’s any of their business. Here comes the part that’s hard for me to talk about..Andy decided he wasn’t going to put up with my mom’s crap (or my grandparents either) anymore and moved out. He’s going to be living with my dad for a while until we can afford to move into an apartment together. I feel so alone without him here..I’m going to have a very, very hard time sleeping at night without him by my side anymore. I don’t know how to cope with all of this. I haven’t spoken to my mother since then and I don’t plan on speaking to her for a while, but I’ll probably have to tonight at the “family meeting”. I wanted to ask everyone for their input on what I should do to cope..I saw this beautiful kitty at Petsmart that reminded me of Tango and I wanted to buy him right then and there, but I know my mom won’t allow me to have a kitty in my room. I really think that would help me in coping with Andy not being in my room with me anymore. Opinions? So, my main point for this blog is to explain what has been going on and why i’ll be taking a break from my website. I’m not going to have access to a computer for a while. I’ll be around the internet with my Blackberry, but for now I’m going to take a hiatus from my website until further notice, or at least until I can get my life back in order.

Ready For Something New

Amber — Mon, 16 Feb 2009 05:09:36 +0000

I’m tired of looking at myself and seeing the same old Amber.. every.. darn.. day. So tonight, I’m dying the tips of my hair..dun, dun, duuuun!!1! RED. Yes, red. With my hair color I think it will look very accenting. I’m about to do it right after I finish posting this blog entry Last night was amazing. I went out to get him his gifts and ended up getting with 2 pairs of boxers, one with Snoopy and Woodstock, and another red pair, some chocolate covered fortune cookies, and a huge Reese’s Piece’s heart. He loved it all, of course His gift was the best, though. He got me a stuffed puppy with a heart in it’s mouth that says “Kiss Me” on it, some sugar-free chocolate (since I’m currently on Weight Watchers) and the best part was a mini puppy that says “I Wuv You, bark, bark!” when you squeeze it. What’s so great about that? you say? There was a ring on the key chain part, that’s what! It’s so pretty. It has diamonds around the whole part and it’s silver. I love it He also home-made me a card that made me cry. It was so beautiful After we exchanged gifts he made the best chicken fettuccine alfredo I’ve ever eaten. The rest of the night was just as amazing, but I won’t go into details Anyway, time to go dye my tips! Toodles

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Amber — Sat, 14 Feb 2009 22:47:37 +0000

Well, happy February the 14th guys. If you’ve visited my site over the past week, you probably noticed a lot of errors in my layout. Well, it’s all fixed now My code was an absolute mess, and wasn’t validated all to hell. But that’s enough about that. I also implemented Gravatars in the comments (finally) and fixed my block-quotes as you can see in my previous post. I’m still iffy on the CSS because I’ve basically had the same coding for my past 5-6 layouts. I might be tweaking that just a bit over this weekend. It all just depends. I’ll also probably update some pages that need an update really bad. But anyway, I hope everyone likes the new look!

I’ve received valentines from people on The Q*Bee. We decided to swap addresses and have one secret valentine to send to anonymously. I have four so far along with my secret valentine who I figured out almost immediately :). They are from Miranda of Silly Little Panda, Heather of At0mica, a special valentine from my secret valentine, Diane of CCDiane, Ashley of Rainbow-Stuff, and Christine of Crumped Paper! The picture to the left is so you can see them all I listed them above from left to right, top row first (Click on the image to make them larger).

They are all so cute! Here’s a little sneak peek of the Valentines that I’ve sent everyone.

I’ve been reading a lot everywhere that many people don’t have plans for today / tonight. Luckily, I do. Andy has something special planned for us this evening and I’m excited to find out what it is. I still haven’t bought his present, though. I have to head out today to do that and maybe I’ll find some good sales I really don’t know what to get him, though. He doesn’t want candy or anything stuffed. I’ll probably end up making him something or trying to find something unique. I’ll just have to see when I go shopping. I started Weight Watchers on Tuesday. Not just because I want to lose weight, but I also need to start eating healthier and exercising. I’ve let myself make some unhealthy choices over the past couple of years and it’s starting to catch up with me if you know what I mean. So this is my first week on the diet and it’s been going pretty good. My next weigh-in is on this upcoming Tuesday and I’m excited to see how I’ve done. If I’ve lost 5 pounds, that would be great, but even if I only lost 1, that’s great as well. we’ll just have to see It’s getting kind of late in the day and I need to go get Andy’s gift before all the stores run out. Toodles!

Death of a Friend

Amber — Thu, 26 Apr 2007 00:20:30 +0000

RIP Chester- September 21, 1995~April 21, 2007 It is unfathomable how much I miss you. You left me on a Saturday night, a day of fun and happiness, transformed into to horror and sorrow. I will never forget the way you would run up to me when I’d walk out the door with the box of your favorite doggie snacks. You were always there for me, for the family, protecting us. I pray you did not suffer in your passing, for your leave looked tough. Now you’re up in heaven, with Ginger and Bibi. I miss you so much. I am sorry I could not be there in your passing, for I know it was an accident. When I still hear the dog bowl outside scraping against the side of the house, I believe in my heart that you’re still out there, your spirit, still watching over us, protecting us. Though you may be gone, you still reside in my heart, forever. We will meet again.

This poem is dedicated to you. I lost a special friend today the kind you can’t replace, and looking at his empty bed I still can see his face. I see the endless energy the sparkling puppy eyes, Not the tired, fragile friend I had to bid goodbye. I know he’s in a special place our Lord has for such friends, Where meadows, fields & flowers help make them strong and whole again. I remember how he’d run to me to play his favorite puppy game, And how his ears would perk right up When he heard me call his name. But as those precious years went by And we both aged and grew, I’d find him often slowing down But-we had still so much to do. He did his guard dog duty well Each time the doorbell rang, Strangers surely couldn’t see My gentle friend–behind those fangs. I’ve noticed in the recent times His ears were not as sharp, Where is that running ball of fur The years have shown their mark. He started sleeping next to me Was this his special clue, Because he felt the end was near I only wish I knew. My Chester was a special dog I know he gave his best, But as I looked deep into his eyes I knew it was time, for him to rest. It will truely be a struggle I don’t know how I’ll face each day, I have to let him go–I know But in my heart he’ll always stay. This special place our Lord has made Health and strength, wait for him there, So with my very special friend I’m sending all my prayers. I know he’s watching over me he’ll be with me when I cry, So with one more kiss on his beloved head I told my Chester goodbye. By Christina L. Tronnes for my beautiful Cocker Spaniel Candy, Edited by Amber. So, if you have not noticed yet, my aligning in my blog is off. That’s why there are no spaces in the proper places. I’ll be working on that, but for now I have to get off my computer.